word-salad/database/factories/ArticleFactory.php

<?php

namespace Database\Factories;

use App\Models\Author;
use App\Models\Article;
use Carbon\Carbon;
use Illuminate\Database\Eloquent\Factories\Factory;

/**
 * @extends \Illuminate\Database\Eloquent\Factories\Factory<\App\Models\Article>
 */
class ArticleFactory extends Factory
{
    /**
     * Configure the model factory.
     */
    public function configure(): static
    {
        return $this->afterMaking(function (Article $article) {
            $article->convertMarkdownToMarkup();
        })->afterCreating(function (Article $article) {
            // ...
        });
    }

    /**
     * The current User being used by the factory.
     */
    protected static Author $author;

    /**
     * The current Markdown body being used by the factory.
     */
    protected static string $markdown_body;

    /**
     * Define the model's default state.
     *
     * @return array<string, mixed>
     */
    public function definition(): array
    {
        return [
            'title' => $this->getRandomTitle(),
            'slug' => fake()->unique()->slug(),
            'author_id' => static::$author->id ??= Author::factory()->create()->id,
            'subtitle' => $this->getRandomSentence(),
            'body' => '', // We'll update it after making using the on-Model method
            'published_at' => $this->generateRandomPublishDate(),
            'header_image_url' => null,
            'markdown_body' => $this->generateMarkdown(),
            'processed_at' => fake()->date('Y-m-d H:m:s'),
        ];
    }

    /**
     * Indicate the model's associated Author
     */
    public function author(int|Author $author): static
    {
        if(is_int($author)) {
            $author = Author::findOrFail($author);
        }
        static::$author = $author;

        return $this->state(fn (array $attributes) => [
            'author_id' => $author->id,
        ]);
    }

    private function generateMarkdown()
    {
        $markdown_result = '';

        foreach(range(1,rand(15,45)) as $index) {
            $dice_roll = rand(0,100);

            if($dice_roll <= 50) { // Make a SubTitle
                $markdown_result .= '## ' . fake()->words(rand(1,5), true) . "\n";
            } elseif ($dice_roll <= 100) { // Make a paragraph
                $markdown_result .= fake()->sentences(rand(2,5), true) . "\n";
            }

            // Always append a new line
            $markdown_result .= "\n";
        }

        return $markdown_result;
    }

    private function generateRandomPublishDate(): Carbon
    {
        $isOlder = rand(0,1);
        if($isOlder) {
            return now()->subDays(rand(1,800));
        } else {
            return now()->addDays(rand(0,50));
        }
    }

    private function getRandomTitle(): string
    {
        $possibilities = [
            'What\'s in a Title? Hopefully More Than This',
            'This One Will Leave You Speechless',
            'Finally, The Pizza of Your Dreams',
            'We Came, We Saw, and Then...',
            'The Incomprehensibility of Aluminum',
            'You Merely Adopted this Format, I Was Born In It, Molded by It',
            'Vector Math is for Cowards',
            'When Two Packets Love Each Other Very Much',
            'I\'m Slipping, I\'m Sliding (I\'m on a Slip \'n Slide)',
            'Tips On Giving Up (Maximum Efficiency)',
            'Top 10 Reasons to Give Up Completely',
            'Even the Monsters Are Disappointed',
        ];

        return $possibilities[random_int(0, count($possibilities) - 1)];
    }

    private function getRandomSentence(): string
    {
        $possibilities = [
            'That page would not bring the reward that was promised.',
            'However, his tendency toward love was endearing, I miss that most of all.',
            'The jellyfish doesn\'t care what you think, that\'s hubris.',
            'And yet.',
            'I find it distasteful, the smell lingering in the air for weeks and months while officials dragged their feet.',
            'I think it was down this hill, maybe.',
            'Cold eyes, I never liked them.',
            'You can call me fit, or the love of your life, if you want.',
            'The kei truck proves its superiority yet again in the quarter-mile.',
            'He knocked, but heard nothing.',
            'First base!',
            'But these histories are still lost to us, despite our vast technical advances.',
            'In the sincerest way possible, I am begging you to start the fire.',
            'They drifted up high over head and then sank reluctantly.',
            'I\'m so proud of you, no matter how belated!',
            'She gripped the handle, but didn\'t have the heart to turn it.',
            'If this, then that, so to speak.',
            'Mapping the source column onto the target column should be strictly validated to ensure no missing fields.',
            'Would there be something in there, though?',
            'The wood splintering echoed down the hall.',
            'I simply do not understand.',
            'The radio tower nearly scraped the belly of the bomber as it strained against the immense pressure.',
            'What\'s actually left after that?',
            'Yes, but it needs more spice.',
            'Backtracking is good, actually.',
            'Scan has always been the problem.',
            'Smell first, then you can think about licking.',
        ];

        return $possibilities[random_int(0, count($possibilities) - 1)];

    }
}